Na na na, na na na na na na na

No, not My Chemical Romance. Music is a funny thing. I want to write a nice long post that will make you think, or laugh, or something. But all I can think of are these lyrics that make me cry.

Yay, my new nerd-blog is live!

http://illkeepyoumynerdylittlesecret.blogspot.com/

Check it out. I'm going to update it far more often than I do this one, I promise.

Musings at the Dentist

The level of comfort in this office is amazing. The waiting room has big, plush couches. The chairs on which you have your teeth drilled into are more comfortable than your average first class seat on any major airline. Even the smell that most dentist offices have is muted. They are playing 311 on the sound system that probably cost more than my car. Why all these luxuries? Oh, right, because I'm not paying for them. :)

I write like
Douglas Adams

I Write Like by Mémoires, journal software. Analyze your writing!

Or something like that. I don't see any similarities.

“Yes. I’m uneducated in the writing of original material.

I am not saying it’s easy to write a screenplay. I’m saying that if it isn’t easy for you, then you probably aren’t cut out for it. Screenwriting majors often complain about how hard it is to write an original screen play in a semester. Try writing two or three in a month. That is what professional screenwriters do.

‘Oh, but their movies are terrible and have no substance.’ And yet their movies end up making millions of dollars in a matter of weeks.

‘Well, they have professional actors to make people come watch their movies.’ Yes, they do. And those actors sign on to do those movies because they like the story/idea/money.

‘Look, you just don’t understand.’ No, I do understand. Everyone needs a reason to say their major is hard, otherwise no one would get a job, because no one would seem extraordinary.

Computer Science majors write tens of thousands of lines of code for every project they do, which is more technical AND more dense than a screenplay. And it is all original material. However, they don’t go around and complain about how difficult it is to write a code, because they enjoy doing it. If you are taking so little enjoyment out of writing a screenplay that you’re spending time writing three times the amount of text in a complaint about how much screenwriting sucks, why are you doing it in the first place?

tl;dr: Yes, screenwriting is hard. No, it is not for everyone. Most people enjoy being creative. If you’re not enjoying it, then it isn’t for you.”

This was my reply to being called uneducated. Does it speak to my character that instead of ignoring it and saying, “Yeah, whatever. What does his opinion matter, anyway?” I write what could be an editorial in the New York Times in response? Yes. Do I really care? No.

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Now let’s look at the actually matter at hand. Screenwriting majors (Most of the time) complain about how much they have to write. They whine and moan and bitch and cry and throw tantrums and -insert more synonyms here-, when they could just write a screenplay about how much screenwriters hate writing screenplays. What sense does that make?

Now yes. They have to be very specific about how they write. They have to use concise terms, and they have to format it perfectly. They have to keep to these rigorous standards all while creating a coherent story that makes the reader/watcher relate to it. And sure, that could get difficult. Unless, that is, there was a way OTHER than figurative language to use as fluff. Like more dialogue. Or more description. Or the introduction of a new event that pertains to the story, but isn’t exactly necessary. You see ALL of these in big budget films. I think screenwriting students are done a disservice by their teachers. Their teachers say, “Look, you have to do all this, and it has to be perfect, but you can’t have extras. It has to have no fat,” when in reality, it has to have a substantial amount of fat in order to accomplish its purpose.

All a story really is is a complex web of details, which are all suspended in an even more complex web of alternate-reality. Adding more details just adds to the web of the story, the highlighted strands of the web. Here is a picture for those of you who are more visually inclined (and also because I want to try out smooth draw):

This is the screenplay which may or may not be too short to make a feature length film. In order to add more length (and depth, if you want to think about it as a three-dimensional object), you do not add more stupid facts. You add more related facts, and maybe some extraneous facts that are not crucial to the story, but do supplement the story as a whole, like so:

Notice how all the added content is somewhat related to the story insofar. Now, you have to be very careful. If you add unrelated content, like in the picture below, you are going to destroy the continuity of your story.

In the end, yes, screenwriting is hard. It involves knowing a lot about the world you’re creating, a lot about the world people who watch it live in, and a lot about how those two worlds interact and relate. It involves memorization of certain formats and procedures. This can be daunting if one is not good at it, or doesn’t enjoy doing it. However, once you understand these procedures, formats, and worlds, adding more pages is as simple as adding more variables to an already complex formula. Could I do it? No. That’s why I’m not a Screenwriting major.

P.S. I am new to this kind of mixed-media approach to blogging, what with pictures and so on. I’ll work on a it a bit after I post it.